 Bored again~  Friday, June 10, 2005
Bloggin agaiN? Yes. This person muz be crazy. Either that, she muz be takin nina’s comments abit too highly and became so flatterered that she tot that the whole world are like kids before the ice-cream stall, Waiting waiting for her postings. Nar, I think and am sure the reason is she is simply VERY BORED. It is really boring to be sitting at the table during lunch time doing nothing. I do not have enough emails to keep me occupied for 45min~
Anyway, these days, I have become a happier person. Thanks to Aikido too, which kept me forcused, happy, and too tired to worry. Also, at least I know I am somebody’s child. Things are more or less settled. Anchored to this world again, of coz self-confidence would be regained. Then again, it is more or less settled. There are stil some couple of things that are simply left dangling. For one, I have no idea what to do. I am all alone. All my peers have past that stage and I have no one to guide me. Oh well, that is a good breeding ground for the element of Independence. Dun understand wad the crap I ve juz blubbered? I think you are not alone. I think none of those reading this blog understand what I am toking.
For a mere 1 year, I feel I have changed much. For one obvious thing, my trust given to people decreased drastically. I used to see every person like a white blank piece of paper, white and pure. I give full trust. Never doubting or thinking what their motive is. But lessons, hurt and tears taught me to present people with a black piece of paper, and to erase the dirt bit by bits when they proved to be otherwise. Unless stated otherwise, I will be wary of them. Good example, a new colleague who strolled in on first day and behaved like she knew me for years. I am not comfortable. Not at all. I dun like it. I have been stabbed by a v friendly person and I have learnt my lesson. This new colleague, her friendliness pushed me away rather than made me her friend. I love toking to people, but I also want me safe. Thus, yes, we talk and joke, I dun trust her and we tok on a very general basis. Lesson learnt: Trust no one but yourself.
Hypocritical? Toking and joking yet saying I dun like her, I dun trust her? Yah. I dun like being hypocritical too, but being defensive is important. Yet it is also known that being too defensive is an effective tool resulting in aggression. So how? Dunno too.
Anyway, the new gal left.
End of story.
I do not want to get close to any more colleagues. Not safe. Especially in the critical stage. Anyting can cause me to lead the remaining few months miserably. And that is the last ting I want. *cross my fingers* Lao Tian Bao You!
4:48 AM | back to top
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Bored again~ Friday, June 10, 2005
Bloggin agaiN? Yes. This person muz be crazy. Either that, she muz be takin nina’s comments abit too highly and became so flatterered that she tot that the whole world are like kids before the ice-cream stall, Waiting waiting for her postings. Nar, I think and am sure the reason is she is simply VERY BORED. It is really boring to be sitting at the table during lunch time doing nothing. I do not have enough emails to keep me occupied for 45min~
Anyway, these days, I have become a happier person. Thanks to Aikido too, which kept me forcused, happy, and too tired to worry. Also, at least I know I am somebody’s child. Things are more or less settled. Anchored to this world again, of coz self-confidence would be regained. Then again, it is more or less settled. There are stil some couple of things that are simply left dangling. For one, I have no idea what to do. I am all alone. All my peers have past that stage and I have no one to guide me. Oh well, that is a good breeding ground for the element of Independence. Dun understand wad the crap I ve juz blubbered? I think you are not alone. I think none of those reading this blog understand what I am toking.
For a mere 1 year, I feel I have changed much. For one obvious thing, my trust given to people decreased drastically. I used to see every person like a white blank piece of paper, white and pure. I give full trust. Never doubting or thinking what their motive is. But lessons, hurt and tears taught me to present people with a black piece of paper, and to erase the dirt bit by bits when they proved to be otherwise. Unless stated otherwise, I will be wary of them. Good example, a new colleague who strolled in on first day and behaved like she knew me for years. I am not comfortable. Not at all. I dun like it. I have been stabbed by a v friendly person and I have learnt my lesson. This new colleague, her friendliness pushed me away rather than made me her friend. I love toking to people, but I also want me safe. Thus, yes, we talk and joke, I dun trust her and we tok on a very general basis. Lesson learnt: Trust no one but yourself.
Hypocritical? Toking and joking yet saying I dun like her, I dun trust her? Yah. I dun like being hypocritical too, but being defensive is important. Yet it is also known that being too defensive is an effective tool resulting in aggression. So how? Dunno too.
Anyway, the new gal left.
End of story.
I do not want to get close to any more colleagues. Not safe. Especially in the critical stage. Anyting can cause me to lead the remaining few months miserably. And that is the last ting I want. *cross my fingers* Lao Tian Bao You!
4:48 AM | back to top
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