 Comfort zone  Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Am emo-ing today.
Hmm..I shld be sleeping... or doing something more productive rather than emo-ing.
Well... I was jus..watching 1 litre of tears..and well, I guess, lots of things ran thru my mind. One thing I hate about cry-shows..they reminds me of things. And me, I already am tinking too much...way too much for my own good..and thinking of more things...brings...more white hair to me. I needa dye my hair soon. Very soon.
So, I m reminded of things, which obviously dun make me too happy.
Also, I remember that event which cat-fren invited me to. I remember something that was being said that night. About, moving out of the comfort zone. Yes, we are all afraid of moving out of our comfort zones.
Like, now, Pig. Little pig. I m scared. I m worried. I m having second thoughts. Cos, well, for one, my family aint v approving of this 3rd cat. One became two, two became 3?!!!
Another thing is, I m worried hw I m gonna care for this little pig, when sch reopens.
Also, I m worried that my maomao n mewmew hate me. I dun wanna lose their love. I love them more than anything else. Pig, she is cute, but I haben develop that deep a love. For me, and mao, n mew, we went thru so much. If taking Pig means losin them, I rather find an alternative way out for Pig. I dun wanna lose mao n mew.
I m , reluctant, to move out of my comfort zone. To work harder, to make everyone, and everycat accepting of Pig. That even before I try hard enough,I m contemplating giving up.
I m quite ashamed of myself true. That, I'm not willing to move out of the comfort zone. not just in this area, but in other areas too.
We get too used to things. It became a habit. That we dont wanna move out of the comfort zone. Me....seriously, I dunno wad I want. Seriously, frankly. It's been...2mths? I think, I m still... Lost. I dont think I've found the route I wanna go.
I m jus being happy day-by-day. And, not thinking, and not willing to move on, to start thinking what the future lies. I let life lead me by the nose, lead me on. I m letting nature take its course? I dunno. Is this? Or, am I jus standing and on the threadmill... of my shadow? I m just, running in the darkness... Unwilling to move on? Unwilling to move out of my comfort zone?
Seriously, I dunno. I dunno wad I m doing. I dunno wad I wan. I m letting time be the best medicine, but seriously, I guess, I m too much of a planner that not knowing what the future lies ahead, and not knowing what to aim for in future bothers me.
Know the truth? Seriously, frankly, I m not sure if I believe in 'a relationship', and I dunno if I even believe in 'marriage'. Can a guy love a gal, jus a gal, from now til forever?
Yah, I think too much. Way too much for my own good.
Am I suffering from '产后犹豫症' from being mummy to Pig??? lol!Labels: rant
3:33 AM | back to top
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Comfort zone Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Am emo-ing today.
Hmm..I shld be sleeping... or doing something more productive rather than emo-ing.
Well... I was jus..watching 1 litre of tears..and well, I guess, lots of things ran thru my mind. One thing I hate about cry-shows..they reminds me of things. And me, I already am tinking too much...way too much for my own good..and thinking of more things...brings...more white hair to me. I needa dye my hair soon. Very soon.
So, I m reminded of things, which obviously dun make me too happy.
Also, I remember that event which cat-fren invited me to. I remember something that was being said that night. About, moving out of the comfort zone. Yes, we are all afraid of moving out of our comfort zones.
Like, now, Pig. Little pig. I m scared. I m worried. I m having second thoughts. Cos, well, for one, my family aint v approving of this 3rd cat. One became two, two became 3?!!!
Another thing is, I m worried hw I m gonna care for this little pig, when sch reopens.
Also, I m worried that my maomao n mewmew hate me. I dun wanna lose their love. I love them more than anything else. Pig, she is cute, but I haben develop that deep a love. For me, and mao, n mew, we went thru so much. If taking Pig means losin them, I rather find an alternative way out for Pig. I dun wanna lose mao n mew.
I m , reluctant, to move out of my comfort zone. To work harder, to make everyone, and everycat accepting of Pig. That even before I try hard enough,I m contemplating giving up.
I m quite ashamed of myself true. That, I'm not willing to move out of the comfort zone. not just in this area, but in other areas too.
We get too used to things. It became a habit. That we dont wanna move out of the comfort zone. Me....seriously, I dunno wad I want. Seriously, frankly. It's been...2mths? I think, I m still... Lost. I dont think I've found the route I wanna go.
I m jus being happy day-by-day. And, not thinking, and not willing to move on, to start thinking what the future lies. I let life lead me by the nose, lead me on. I m letting nature take its course? I dunno. Is this? Or, am I jus standing and on the threadmill... of my shadow? I m just, running in the darkness... Unwilling to move on? Unwilling to move out of my comfort zone?
Seriously, I dunno. I dunno wad I m doing. I dunno wad I wan. I m letting time be the best medicine, but seriously, I guess, I m too much of a planner that not knowing what the future lies ahead, and not knowing what to aim for in future bothers me.
Know the truth? Seriously, frankly, I m not sure if I believe in 'a relationship', and I dunno if I even believe in 'marriage'. Can a guy love a gal, jus a gal, from now til forever?
Yah, I think too much. Way too much for my own good.
Am I suffering from '产后犹豫症' from being mummy to Pig??? lol!Labels: rant
3:33 AM | back to top
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